


you're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off you

by GOODBOYS



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Canon, Canon Compliant, Cute, Cute Im Changkyun | I.M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Idol!changkyun, Im Changkyun - Freeform, Implied Relationship, Kihyun - Freeform, Kihyun is a softie, Kissing, M/M, Mentions of Smut, Non AU, Romance, Smut, Soft Im Changkyun | I.M, Soft Mornings, changki, changki being soft and cuddly boyfriends, changki canon, changki deserve better, changki idols, changki rise, changkyun - Freeform, changkyun is a softie, changkyun really loves kihyun, domestic changkyun, domestic kihyun, kihyun is too cute, kihyun really loves changkyun, kikyun, monsta x - Freeform, monsta x canon, non au changki, non-au, shy and cute changki, soft, soft smut, very gay, yoo kihyun - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:42:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21896860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GOODBOYS/pseuds/GOODBOYS
Summary: And right now, lost in all beauty that is Changkyun, Kihyun’s hit with an uncontrollable urge to hold the younger and show him all the ways he loves him. To whisper his affection into the soft curves of his hips and delicately kiss his tenderness into anywhere that hurts. To trace over the pretty red marks that he leaves to blossom on his skin.(or, kihyun wakes up in the morning with changkyun, and he falls in love with him, even more, every second.)non au
Relationships: Im Changkyun | I.M/Yoo Kihyun
Comments: 14
Kudos: 71





	you're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off you

_"You're just too good to be true_

_I can't take my eyes off you"_

Kihyun watches Changkyun more than he likes to admit. Everything about the younger male fascinates him. He's often left speechless at his bright smiles that light up a dozen dark rooms. Finds himself yearning for pretty, cherry lips that pout from sleepiness. Reminisces at how soft and sweet they are when they're moving against his own and time stops around them. He’s completely enamoured by him. Changkyun's laughter is loud and unapologetic but it becomes his favourite sound. He falls in love with silly, entertaining jokes that have him laughing for hours. Hoping to remember the image of eyes that crinkle in happiness, adorable dimples and his nose. His nose is one of his prettiest features and it’s such a silly little thing to be so in love with but he _is_ _._ Changkyun becomes an addiction Kihyun no longer fights.

Sometimes he catches his reflection when staring at Changkyun. It shocks him back to reality because he stares at him like he’s something rare and precious. He stares like he's in love - and he guesses that's because he _is_. But it leaves him wondering how obvious it is. How often he does it. If other people have noticed. He's becoming unable to hide the staring, doing it so much he’s scared he may burn a hole right through Changkyun’s skull. He's worried he can't hide the fondness when their eyes meet. There is always something shining in them, _between them_ . Something that twinkles more than a million of stars reflecting in a moonlit ocean. He falls in love with chocolate brown becoming golden honey in sunlight, the way his eyes soften when they look at his. He can't help but stare harder because Changkyun is like that. He shines, _blooms_ under his attention like it's all he ever needs in life.

More often than not, they share a knowing gaze. It's one that pumps their hearts into a faster beat and burns their cheeks to a bright pink. It's at times like that Kihyun's reminded of all the reasons he loves Changkyun. Long gazes filled with silent promises only they know the meaning to. Kihyun never fails to find Changkyun so breathtaking. The younger is sure in himself and it's admirable. Kihyun's engraved his smile, his lips, his body, _everything_ to the inside of his eyelids. Whenever he closes his eyes Changkyun is right there with him. On restless days he's mapping him out like it’s the only thing he knows how to do.

_"You'd be like heaven to touch_

_I wanna hold you so much"_

Changkyun is everything to Kihyun. When his eyes first open in the morning, his chest explodes in warmth. It must be because he knows exactly what the comfortable weight resting on his chest is and the heat that comes along with it. The relief of something that makes him warmer than a duvet and blanket could ever. Changkyun is someone who immediately has his heart doubling in size. He's someone who makes him forget where he is. It takes a single moment to remember that he _isn't_ dreaming before he blinks away the haze of sleep. When his vision is less blurry he looks down and his heart stutters in his ribcage. It's Changkyun that clings onto him. He wasn't dreaming about it. There's something so satisfying watching him sleep without any worries. He looks young, peaceful and it works up a frenzy of butterflies in his stomach. Kihyun wishes every morning could be like this one.

It’s in these small, little moments that Kihyun remembers all the reasons he loves Changkyun. He never forgets. It only takes a moment to try and understand how he got lucky enough to have a beautiful boy curled up beside him. He does wonder how he got so lucky to be close to Changkyun and wake up to soft lips. They innocently rest against the skin of his neck but it has the same, fluttery effect. The feeling only gets bigger when his hand unconsciously goes to hold his smaller one.

The world doesn't shift when he wakes up. The stars don't align. The universe doesn't speak to him. He's in his room with Changkyun's soft breaths falling onto his neck. And there is only one name on the tip of his tongue, ready to tumble out past his lips and made known in the silence of the room. As if someone’s flipped a switch all he can think about is _Changkyun, Changkyun, Changkyun._

_"At long last love has arrived_

_And I thank God I'm alive"_

On days he feels like he's falling harder into love like it's the first time all over again, Changkyun buries under his skin. He melts his bones with ease until he’s left pliant for him. It doesn't take a lot to lose control. He'll forever remain eager and waiting with their fingers laced under covers. His whimpers silenced with lips on his followed by hot breath on his neck. His hairs stand up and his heart thumps louder. They’ve long since admitted they weren’t lying together for warmth but something else too. he doesn't have a date for when it happened. He supposes he never will. it's a gradual, slow process and he loves every second of it. It's something they can't scream out into the world, something they wouldn't want to either. It remains spoken between them in breathless whispers.

A slow and steady flutter erupting inside of him. Warm flames that lick up a burning path into Changkyun’s core. Kihyun's eyes flutter closed with the memories of worshipping _all of_ _him_. He feels the heavy desire to smooth his hands across trembling thighs and bite into arched hips. To feel skin, alive and hot under his fingertips, burning and desperate. To swallow countless begs and whimpers. Kihyun chokes his thoughts down, wincing at the dryness in his throat. He distracts himself by smoothing Changkyun’s hair away from his face. Changkyun continues with his unintelligible mumbling and Kihyun coos. He finds his soft snores more soothing than annoying.

_"You're too good to be true_

_Can't take my eyes off you"_

When Kihyun thinks Changkyun isn’t looking, he admires him from a safe distance. There might have been cameras staring him down but he drinks in Changkyun like it’s the last ever sip he'll have of him. He swallows him down, gasping from the lack of air and gulps down more. He can never get enough.

In his room, he watches Changkyun stir in his sleep and holds back a smile. His tongue darts out to wet his lips before his head turns and gently rests back onto his arm. Although the position is a little uncomfortable, Kihyun finds peace just looking at him. It might only be for a few more seconds, time catching up to them. Kihyun wants to see Changkyun as unguarded as possible, looking innocent and peaceful. It's soothing for him, to see the one he loves protected by sleep. They don’t get many quiet moments like this, so he wants to savour it for as long as he can. He knows how lucky he is to witness this kind of Changkyun, one so carefree and _young._

They still have so much to learn about each other. Often there are times where he forgets how young Changkyun is. Most of the time Changkyun _does_ act his age. He _is_ young. He still has a lot to learn but already he has an air of maturity about him. One that sometimes puts theirs to shame. Intelligent and quick-witted, they're lucky to have him. And they get glimpses of him, a person holding deep, gentle longing like he's lived a million lives over. Yet, there is still so much he doesn't know. So he relies on them more and more with time. He lets them see his tears, his worries. Even his secrets. They hold him as he holds them. There's so much love in his heart that it makes Kihyun fall in love harder than before. He's in so deep with Changkyun he might never make it out again. It should be scary, but with Changkyun nothing seems to be. And if it is, he has someone to confide in. To comfort him.

Nothing is better than waking up with Changkyun. It's a cosy, slow morning and their limbs have wrapped together over the course of the night. The sun hides behind closed curtains but there's still a yellow glow around the room. Kihyun stares down to the boy in his arms and counts his eyelashes that rest atop full, swollen cheeks. He pokes them, remembering the times he's held and kissed them one too many times. He kisses his many delicate freckles, tracing over them with the tip of his finger. He pretends to form constellations as he waits for the time to pass. He doesn't have the heart to wake him up but Kihyun knows he has to. He kisses each mole from his ear to his neck until the brown-haired boy below him stirs in his sleep. He watches in fondness as Changkyun blinks his eyes open. His brows are still furrowed in confusion at the strange sensation of lips on his skin. He's hardly awake to realise what's going on.

_"Pardon the way that I stare_

_There's nothing else to compare"_

"Mmm, too _early_ " Changkyun whines as he yawns, stretching his limbs out. he almost hits Kihyun in the process but he just giggles when his eyes finally open to meet his. Kihyun thinks he could map out the universe in his eyes. Changkyun smiles. It's one Kihyun loves. The little grin that has his cheeks stretching out into dimples. Sleepy smiles reserved only for him. "Morning hyung," His voice, louder this time, is husky and deep from sleep. It makes Kihyun’s skin prickle in heat. _Fuck._ Changkyun is going to kill him one day.

“Morning baby, sleep well?” Kihyun whispers as he feels Changkyun nod into his chest.

Changkyun loves Kihyun's chest. It's one he's leant on so many times, broader and wider than his own, a solid comfort. Kihyun's eyes close as Changkyun fidgets around and gets comfy again. The time around them seems to go by quicker when they're both awake. It's like the universe is punishing them. They never seem to get time alone anymore and it becomes a struggle to handle. It takes forever for them to catch up to reality in the mornings they have together.

Changkyun grows restless as he stares at the clock. They should get up soon. He sighs and turns to nuzzle his nose into the base of Kihyun's neck, lips tenderly kissing his collarbone. It's followed by gentle nips he's sure will leave splotchy red marks. Kihyun loses himself in the feel of Changkyun's hands in his hair, far too sleepy to object. He tries to look annoyed by it but fails the moment fingers press into his bruises. Imagining the sight of Changkyun’s artwork on him causes a guttural sound to get stuck in the back of his throat. He struggles to swallow it all down. He finds purchase gripping onto Changkyun. He's sure his nails are leaving crescents in the delicate skin of his hips but no one needs to know. Kihyun loses himself in the feel of him, time slipping past them unnoticed.

_“The sight of you leaves me weak_

_There are no words left to speak”_

The deep sound Kihyun makes causes Changkyun to break eye contact and laugh into his neck. It's a high and giggly sound and it's beautiful. He struggles to move away from Kihyun when he notices how glazed over his eyes are from his touches. He smiles with pride as he sees the bright pink that’s settled across his cheeks. Grins mischievously at eyes that are now blown wide open, flickering with interest. There’s a tremble in his fingers as he fights down the desperate _want_ and _need_ to have Kihyun as close as possible to him. He even has to bite down hard on his tongue at the sound of Kihyun’s whining for him to come back into his arms.

_“But if you feel like I feel_

_Please let me know that it's real”_

Changkyun reaches up, trailing his fingers along Kihyun's cheek. His skin is as smooth as it is soft. He's hit with this sudden urge to press his lips against Kihyun's sharp jawline but he resists it. He doesn't have time to finish what he wants to start. So instead he huffs into Kihyun's neck and giggles in amusement as the man below twitches.

“ _Hyung,_ " He drawls out, "We have to get up soon.” He's whispering into Kihyun's ear.

Kihyun only groans and murmurs a muffled _"nooo"_ into Changkyun's hair. Protesting by intertwining his legs more  securely  around Changkyun's. Kihyun's  painfully  aware they need to get up. So aware it hurts. He hates the heavy realisation dawning on them that quiet moments like this won’t last forever. It's what makes him the most reluctant to move. It’s difficult to even find a few moments in the morning to themselves. The little time they do find is always followed by a busy schedule. And then an even _busier_ _s_ chedule after their previous one. And yes, they spend time together every day but it isn’t the same. Getting private moments like this is enough to keep Kihyun from going insane. But it never feels like enough. He doubts it will ever feel like enough.

He hates how selfish it makes him sound. He should be happy with what he has. They are gaining success more and more every day. They have fans that love them, money to live a comfortable life. And yet he will always want more of Changkyun. He will never get enough. He wonders if having a normal life with Changkyun would be any better. But he likes this. He doesn't want to change from this. They've worked hard for this and he wouldn't change that for the world. They'll make it work. They have done for a year. Some days are harder than others, but it always will be. They're okay with that.

It’s a bitter pill to swallow, knowing that they can’t stay under the warmth of the covers forever. But they can’t wait for the moments they can kiss each other until their lips are swollen. When their hands are free to roam greedily  and they're so caught up in each other that everything is _too hot._ The times when reality becomes another world away. It’s a bitter realisation on the days they can't. It's one that worsens the ache in his chest. But he takes what he can get. Which is Changkyun pulling the covers back and muttering a small _“cute”_ as he whines louder. Kihyun knows he's blushing so he pulls the duvet back over his head to hide the embarrassment. He shouldn't be, they were kissing earlier but he's still shy. He hates, most of all, getting attacked by sudden sunlight pouring into his room. And the unforgiving coldness of not having someone else’s warmth to cuddle.

He _hate_ s mornings.

But that’s what Changkyun is to Kihyun. A firey ball of warmth and comfort. A solid presence that grounds him. But also someone so witty and entertaining that years later he's only just realising how deep in he is. He’s still falling deeper and deeper in love every time he sees him. It’s a  wonderfully  terrifying thing, falling for Changkyun. But he makes it look so easy, so painless and inviting. So Kihyun continues to let it happen, despite knowing all the risks and all the warnings. He’ll  just  keep falling because loving Changkyun is one of the easiest things to do. And one of the most rewarding.

That same ache in his chest grows and grows when Changkyun licks his lips and moves closer to him. His cheeks are  softly  held by two skinny, warm hands. There’s so much affection in the touch that his throat becomes choked up with emotion. Kihyun can’t help but quickly glance over to the clock on the wall in fear, realising with a disappointed sigh that they don’t have a lot of time left and mutters something along the lines of _“We shouldn’t...”_ to Changkyun who's heavy look silences him.  Either Changkyun doesn’t hear him or refuses to listen because he continues to smooth the pad of his thumb over his bottom lip . His eyes flick up to capture his eyes and they're strong and blazing. They hold so much emotion Kihyun’s once again knocked completely breathless.

Before he can think about anything else Changkyun’s lips are on his own and he's groaning at the softness. It's like it’s the first time they’re doing this. There's a strong familiarity in the sweetness of Changkyun that makes him moan. His hands shake as they fist his shirt, scrunching it tighter and tighter like he never wants to let go. _Fuck it’s so soft, so, so soft, too much and too little._ Their foreheads press together and their tongues lick into the other’s mouth. Kihyun can't think anymore like a dark veil is being pulled over his eyes and he's blinded by the strong wave of lust. _And_ _just_ _like that,_ Kihyun's completely _fucked._

If Changkyun isn't the definition of sin itself, Kihyun has no idea what actually is. And that is more terrifying than anything else.

His fingers move to pull Changkyun's hair, tugging forcefully.  After months of practice, Kihyun knows he likes that and it's almost too easy when the younger gasps into his mouth. Kihyun shivers at the sound, tongue sliding into his mouth and hips rutting down against his dick. Oh, _fuck, fuck fuck._ All he wants at this moment is Changkyun. He's sure his entire body is flushing in the red he adores on the younger male's cheeks.

It's a thousand degrees hotter, lost in each other until the shrill of an iPhone alarm pulls them apart. Changkyun curses with a shaky breath. Kihyun can't reprimand him because he feels like swearing too. They know it went too far. They got carried away with the pleasure that exploded in their stomachs. It was so close to consuming them. The ache only grows stronger the more they move apart. Changkyun moves to silence the alarm and they know they have to let that desire they both crave simmer down on its own. That doesn't mean Kihyun's can't marvel in Changkyun's lips slick with spit, darker and redder than before. It makes him wonder how he must look considering Changkyun looks wrecked himself.

_“You’re just too good to be true _

_Can’t take my eyes off you”_

The ache is so strong that Kihyun’s heart threatens to burst through his ribcage. He’s lost in his feelings so much so that he’s unable to open his eyes for a few moments after the kiss. He sighs softly when he feels a much sweeter and gentler kiss on his lips. One that holds affectionate promises, pressing into his cheek and then his nose. And once more on his lips before the dip in the bed lifts and he can hear Changkyun’s feet padding across the room.

In an ideal world, Kihyun would never wants this to end. He's scared that if he opens his eyes everything will disappear and shatter right in front of him. That he'll wake up and this will all be a dream and he'll cold and alone. He focuses on the sound of opening and closing of his drawers. Changkyun rummaging through his clothes to find something to wear. Kihyun wonders why he's looking through his clothes if his own room is down the hall. 

But then again, Changkyun isn't the most proper looking. They all walk around in boxers and long shirts but not with finger strawn hair that someone's pulled on. Neither do the rest of the members walk around with swollen lips and splotchy red marks on their necks.  Maybe  Changkyun doesn't want to deal with the embarrassment of getting teased. Kihyun doesn't blame him so he lets him continue to rummage through his clothes.

When it finally feels like his heart won’t jump out from his chest and his mind is clearer, Kihyun opens his eyes. He presses a finger to his tingling lips, blushing furiously. He looks up through his eyelashes at Changkyun, who is just stood there with his back turned. He strips out of his clothes so he's left completely bare. The burning desire Kihyun feels for him worsens. Especially when Changkyun turns around and then grins smugly at his flushed appearance. Even though Changkyun is such a little brat, Kihyun still finds him so endearing in these moments. Acting so smug like he wasn't just panting and begging because of him moments ago.

Kihyun gulps, wincing at how loud it was. Changkyun’s hair is a mess and his lips are still swollen and so kissable and _fuck_ he wants him. Everything around them is so soft and sweet and slow. Kihyun wants to take Changkyun apart until he doesn't even remember his name. Until his hands are gripping onto him like he's his lifeline and he's begging him for more.

His thoughts only continue as Changkyun’s smile morphs into a smirk. It's one full of unwavering confidence when he sees Kihyun’s reddened face. Changkyun loves knowing Kihyun's calm and composed stature is in ruins because of him. He chuckles as he turns back around, his fondness for Kihyun showing on glowing cheeks. His cute little reactions to the littlest of things become one of the many reasons he wants to stay right here. Forever in Kihyun’s room, being with him all day under sheets. His chest swells with pride because he can make Kihyun like this. He makes him all red and stuttery and embarrassed. All Changkyun wants to do for the rest of the day is to hold him close and cherish him. He doesn't know when he'll get another chance like this.

But things aren’t that simple, they've learnt that the hard way. They embrace the little things, cling onto and wish on all the stars in the universe and that has to be enough.

_“I love you, baby, and if it's quite alright_

_I need you, baby, to warm a lonely night”_

Changkyun, Kihyun thinks, is a work of art, a masterpiece, and his thighs, he could go on and on about them. Walking around with _beautifully_ shaped thick muscles. _ Flawlessly _smooth skin that he wants to appreciate, to have them under him, to bite his marks into. He wants to take the time to worship them. _Another time,_ he tells himself, _another time._

Kihyun can't help but feel disappointed when Changkyun covers up miles of unmarked skin with clothes. But he realises moments later with wide eyes that Changkyun is wearing _his_ clothes. And he looks _adorable._ Especially with the sleeves of his hoodie being longer on him than it is on himself. There’s an emotion swirling deep in his heart that he can’t name but he settles on calling it affection. Kihyun knows it's not nearly enough to describe it. It's a feeling he knows he can't explain in words.

Plenty of time has passed between them since their first meeting and Kihyun is still not used to the many versions of Changkyun he sees  . Especially not the Changkyun he knows when they’re alone. He's still not used to seeing him so early, with his hand curled into a fist as he yawns. He's not used to seeing his head thrown back and mouth open in a silent gasp late at night when they're alone. He's not used to waking up in the dorms next to him. Not used to the beauty of the delicate slope of his nose, home to many kisses. Not used to rosy lips paired with rosy cheeks and those small adorable dimples.  All of him makes Kihyun's chest ache.

He's not used to his softened features, innocent and relaxed as he finally lets go of everything. Kihyun smiles at those times because this is Changkyun. There is no heavy burden resting on his shoulders to be perfect. There's no pressure to be IM - a powerful, energetic rapper dripping in a hypnotic, sexy charm. He isIm Changkyun, a young boy with the cutest squishy cheeks and a big heart full to the brim with too much love. Someone Kihyun loves to praise because that's when he shine the brightest.

Kihyun's not used to a lot of things.  Irregular time schedules, waking up disorientated at 3 am and the pounding of his heart when his fingers press into the patches of red littering Changkyun's neck. The marks he's left. He can't stop hearing Changkyun's whimper and whines. His heavy breathing that follows after he's left his marks. The red ears and high pitched squeals of "h-hyung! that hurts!" (it doesn't.)

But most of all, he's not used to being around Changkyun. Watching his little antics and listening in on jokes full of light and charisma. And then the dark, sarcastic switch up that offers much-needed variety idols can't show. Kihyun knows he should be somewhat used to Changkyun by now, but he still finds moments where he isn't. Being with him isn't something anyone will ever get used to. Every day they are always changing. Whether they change together or not, Kihyun doesn't care.  There's not a morning he wakes up and feels like he doesn't love every single version of Changkyun that wakes up alongside him.

And right now, lost in all beauty that is Changkyun, Kihyun’s hit with an uncontrollable urge to hold the younger and show him all the ways he loves him. To whisper his affection into the soft curves of his hips and delicately kiss his tenderness into anywhere that hurts. To trace over the pretty red marks that he leaves to blossom on his skin. He wants to count the stars that shine in his eyes on the good days. Wants to be right there beside him on the bad days when the stars start to hide behind thick, heavy clouds. Kihyun will wait patiently for those clouds to disperse so the stars can shine again.

But with or without stars, Changkyun is, and always will be, stunning.

_“I love you baby_

_Trust in me when I say”_

There’s a knock at their door, a desperate shout of _"Wake up you two we have to leave soon!"_ and there's that sharp ache again when Kihyun realises - they now have to face the real world. One that's all cameras and limited privacy. But that’s all forgotten for a moment in his room. Despite hearing many feet getting quieter on the other side of his closed door. He hears distant voices as they all start getting up and ready for the day ahead. Kihyun still feels like he’s a million worlds away.

Sometimes he wishes, on more days than none, it was true. So for a couple of hours, he could be with Changkyun without any interruptions. It may be selfish, but there’s something so calming about being alone with Changkyun. Something that feels a lot like healing.

_“Oh pretty baby_

_Don't bring me down I pray”_

He finds so much happiness in this one room. With Changkyun pawing at the covers to try and get Kihyun, who has to stifle his giggles, out of bed. And he knows, he knows It’s normally the other way round. Knows Kihyun finds it hard sometimes when his heart is begging him to stay where he belongs. But his mind is telling him he has a job to do. He belongs with Changkyun, and Changkyun has a job to do too, one he does with him so that’s how he gets himself out of bed. He’s found a home in bright brown eyes and an overflowing heart so Kihyun willingly follows him anywhere.

 _Hyung,_ come on, get up I’m hungry and we _ really _ need to leave soon.” Changkyun whines with his voice slightly higher than normal. It has Kihyun grinning like a Cheshire cat as he struggles with trying to keep the sheets tucked over him. It's no use as Changkyun keeps pulling them away from him. When Changkyun realises Kihyun isn't going to move any time soon he goes for the only option he has left.  Taking a deep breath, murmuring a short prayer for his life, he's suddenly yanking the covers back and launching himself on Kihyun.  Pinning him underneath him, he has his hands out and energized as his threatening fingertips start to tickle his sides. Loud shrieks fill up the silence of the room that turns into loud gasps and giggles. Kihyun shows resistance but finally erupts into loud laughter at the ticklish sensation. Changkyun stops as Kihyun pants, squirming and flinching underneath him. 

“ _Alright! Alright!_ " Kihyun surrenders  breathlessly, "I’ll get up you _brat_!” Changkyun’s chest warms when he sees his hyung. All pink cheeks and eyes shining and he hopes he never loses that beaming smile of his. _Fuck, he’s so pretty._

“You’re so pretty hyung." The words leave his mouth before he could stop them. The giggling slowly stops and there's a beat of silence and thick, undeniable tension. It reminds them both of one too many nights trying to keep quiet as the stars leave them to have privacy. They stare at each other for another moment. And then Changkyun's swooping down kissing the tears of laughter from his eyes.  Kihyun snaps back into reality, rolls his eyes and punches him but Changkyun decides, right there and then, that he would happily give up anything to see the look of pure happiness on Kihyun's face. He would do anything to witness this over and over again. How his cheeks and ears becoming a darker shade of pink and a wide, toothy grin brightens up his face. Kihyun, like this, is endlessly captivating.

Changkyun can’t help but smile back because Kihyun’s smile is his favourite thing.  Among many, many others, but nothing beats the apples of his cheeks looking like they're about to explode from extreme joy and his eyes crinkling into perfect little crescents that he adores so much.  Everything about Kihyun is charming in its own way, but his smile just happens to light up something incredibly devastating inside him. Something he will never forget. Something that sears itself over his heart.

Kihyun remains stunned by the younger’s sudden confession for a few more seconds before he quickly recovers and does the only thing he can think of doing. He leans up to return Changkyun's chaste kiss, laughing at how his lips form an _‘o’_ after, stunned by his actions.

“Changkyunnie is very pretty too.”

They decide to leave the embarrassment of their words for later.

_“Oh pretty baby_

_Now that I've found you stay”_

Changkyun finds it funny, sometimes, to look back at how far they’ve come. From him being so apprehensive and shy.  Silenced in the corner with heavy stares directed at him to then having wounds healed with encouraging hugs and apologetic words. Words filled with adoration and meaning. That relief of the first time someone looked at him without guilt. And then softness, an undeniable softness creeping in on him when he least expected it. Turning into something he can’t explain in words.

Because Kihyun has always been there. He's always nursed him back to help, gave him advice on many topics and held his hand through everything. It was the little moments when he was alone with Kihyun that made every fibre of his being explode. There has always been so much energy between them. He had never wanted someone more than he wanted Kihyun. And for the longest time, he had to struggle with what that meant. All he knew was that he had never felt such tender gentleness mixed with such confusing emotions.  It was the little moments he had with Kihyun that had him think of how he wouldn’t mind spending the rest of his life by his side . Because with him, Changkyun has never had time to feel inferior to him. Or any less because he didn’t have that connection with him at the start.

Kihyun just had his special way of making him feel different. And he liked that a lot.

_“And let me love you, baby_

_Let me love you”_

He’s no stranger to the frustration Kihyun feels most days. He feels it too. It gets hard. Days get longer and the tension wrapped around their hearts only tugs stronger. Some days it feels like they can’t breathe. But those days pass as all the seasons do. They change, and with time, things become easier. More manageable. They don't know any different. It's not perfect, never perfect, but easier. They have a good thing going. It's not a fairytale, not even close, but there's something here they don't want to change ever. It's a risk, a big, scary risk, but this is what's meant to be.

But they still have times where they have to rush around like crazy. Where they have little to no time at all to even glance at each other let alone wake up side by side. Not doing something as small as holding hands. Changkyun hates those times. All he wants to do is have one night where he can hold Kihyun close and not have to worry about the early morning to come. Doesn't have to think about waking up and acting like nothing is going on between them. But it does make Changkyun appreciate the little moments he has with Kihyun more. He learns to reminisce the joy of waking up wrapped around the man he loves. To appreciate not having to think about anything at all. He just listens to the rise and fall of Kihyun’s chest. The steady beats of his heart that lulls him back to sleep.

_Kihyun._ Changkyun doesn’t have the luxury to hide under covers and pretend that everything’s okay. They’re a part of a seven-member band that’s constantly travelling. Despite the other members knowing about them, there are the millions of people that don’t. And it’s a scary thing, being in love with someone and society deeming it wrong, unnatural, _abnormal_. He understands why Kihyun gets tired. Why sometimes he doesn’t want to leave his bed. Waking up being so tired of constantly _wondering_ when it’s going to get easier.

All they can do is find comfort in the arms of each other as they remind themselves that what they’re feeling is right. They're forever hoping that when they wake up the world might be kinder to them. There will always be setbacks. It's a part of life. So waking up whenever he can with Kihyun by his side, there’s something so natural about it, so pleasant. Like he's meant to be there. Like they were two halves of the same star falling to earth. They found each other and they don't plan on letting go. 

Everything makes sense when he’s with Kihyun. Like he was missing something for the longest time and has finally found it. It’s the type of feeling that puts a soft expression on his face. A domestic feeling as he watches Kihyun grumbling when he finally gets out of bed. Doing something as childish as sticking his tongue out at him when he laughs at his dishevelled hair. 

People might think that it’s so out of character for Kihyun, but Changkyun knows him better than that. He knows all sides of him and loves when his hyung acts without a care in the world. And he’s sure as he walks up behind Kihyun and wraps his arms around his waist, this is where he's supposed to be. He's comforted in the fact that if he has him next to him he could do anything. He has a smile that motivates him. Calm and soothing words to calm the erratic breaths when it gets too much. He has a hand that holds his either in the secrecy of night or in the privacy of early mornings. He can do _anything_ with Kihyun by his side to calm his anxieties.

Because Kihyun is his home, his stars, his moons, everything. And without him, he has no one to share the secrets of the universe with. And they’d both rather be _Yoo Kihyun_ _and_ _IM of Monsta x_ than two halves of a whole star. They'd rather live in secret than entertain the possibility of never falling in love. Without Kihyun, Changkyun doesn't think he'd ever be okay again. And without Changkyun, Kihyun won't ever see stars as bright as he does in his eyes. So they'll wait it out, hoping one day the world is kind enough to put them back as one whole star again, travelling through the passage of time for infinity.

_“I love you baby_

_And if it's quite all right_

_I need you baby_

_To warm the lonely nights_

_I love you baby_

_Trust in me when I say…...”_

**Author's Note:**

> please don't mind the many mistakes, I wrote this in a couple of hours and it's not my best piece of work at all but :( im a sucker for soft changki so this just...happened at 3am
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/MINGIHUG?s=09)


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